Today, I left my office sharp at 6:32 and surprisingly reached back home in another 2 hours. But, as soon as I stepped in I ran into an argument or call it a fight which could have lead to severe consequences with my younger sister. Why? The reason is quite foolish and I don’t even to share it but this was something really bad, and I am quite aware of it.
Moving further, I came back to my room, picked up my old cricket bat and rammed it on the wall as hard as I could. I am quite patient but this outburst of anger wasn’t really planned. It went with the flow and is something which I would definitely am not proud of. That though isn’t really important! What’s important is the question which I really have been asking myself as well; why did it happen? Honestly, the answer wasn’t really tough to figure out. I’m frustrated, disappointed with my life. I look back in time at my younger self and I realize I didn’t grow up to be as I used to plan earlier. But, even that’s not the problem, I always have the opportunity to pause my life and reshape it in a way I want to from that very moment.
Now, coming to the actual problem, I really don’t know whether that moment would come or not. I am not sure if I should really be worried about it or not but the thought has been keeping me awake almost every other night. Also, this is just one of the many reasons for my disappointment, the other one is my work life. The thing is, I am not very happy with what people have done with what used to be called writing earlier.
(a) It does not really work of art as people would generally tell you.
I work as a content writer. The term became a thing as ‘digital marketing services’, ‘SEO’ and ‘content marketing’ started turning into a career option. Let’s not go into the depths of what I do, the only thing you need to understand is, the kind of writing we do is writing done for marketing products and services. So, technically I am not a writer but I am a marketer who has a good vocabulary and can frame sentences properly. Apart from that, content writing is nothing like writing. Though I still like doing it because at the end of the day I am able to share some really useful information with people reading my written content on the internet.
(b) I really can’t share my opinion
I really can’t share my opinion because I am a content writer, not a journalist. Sadly, even If I were a journalist, my opinions wouldn’t have really mattered because I probably wouldn’t have shared it. Journalism is dying and people who pretend to be a journalist are actually who wanted to become one but at the end of the day their priority is to earn bread and butter for their family, and they can’t do so if they start writing what they think. That’s honestly not what they are going to get paid for. Sadly, the readers, the audience is the one to blame here.
(c) My work is important for the people who pay me to do it, but they don’t really know what I do and the value my work gets them. Honestly, being the joker in the circus isn’t really an easy job, there’s a lot you have to deal with. Plus, it’s hard to keep pretending you’re an idiot and you don’t really understand what’s happening. The only thing good about my work life is that it helps me earn a lot of money, and it keeps me busy. Also, there are people who I like to share my lame jokes with – and my food.
(d) I am not really me while I am working
Though I understand it’s corporate life and I have to watch my words before using them, you can’t always be honest. If somebody is bad, you can’t actually tell them that. Some people would regard this as rude behavior but I would call it being honest and helpful. As long as I don’t tell people what the problem is, how would I expect them to help me resolve it.
I don’t really mean to hurt anyone but not saying what I feel is going to feed the angry demon hiding inside me, and I honestly don’t want it to come out. Also, if you are too going out with tough times and want to lessen your burden, connect with me on social media. I am there to listen.