Kids after Marriage – Indispensable or Dispensable Obligation?
“Deep-Rooted Notions in the Society.” Undeniably, marriages are not just the bed of roses, especially Indian marriages. Together couples knit beautiful dreams of their marriage while being little aware of the turmoil that is added to it. It is not just about the sweetness that they initially think marriage would bring. The headstrong beliefs of Indian families and patriarchal notions of the society can either make or break this new and sensitive relationship between couples. For that matter, one such belief which is truly difficult to bear is the pressure of procreating kids. It starts the moment the span of your marriage crosses one year or more and you should be prepared to deal with dreadful questions asked by your friends and family, like, ‘When are you breaking that good news we are all expecting to hear?’, ‘Are you planning a family and not able to conceive?’
Furthermore, all hell will break loose, if another daughter-in-law in a clan who got married years later after your marriage has delivered a baby before you. So, soon the idea of a marriage, which once put you on cloud nine, starts to appear as an illusionary term as it slays you and your partner completely.
Expectations of the Unconventional Families
It is not just the belief of conventional Indian families but many modern families think alike. Though parents do not vocal their expectations as much they expect to see their children’s children, which is an obvious feeling. But, sometimes, it is an uninvited obligation for couples.
Types of Couples
In order to enjoy more of ‘we’ time, many couples have started to procrastinate their decision to have kids today and decided to procreate later. To an extent, the idea of procreating later goes down well among parents because they also want their children to fulfill their aspirations first. Now, if all things turn out well as they were expected, it can strengthen their relationship and shape up a better future for all of them as a family. For some couples, having kids could be a sense of pride and a lifestyle choice. This sort of couples, generally, does not put any sort of vision before planning a child. However, within some of these couples, there are also some couples who strongly don’t feel the need of multiplying to the existing population ever.
Is Anybody at Fault?
No, there is no one and nothing to be blamed for having disparate beliefs and choices. Couples who enter into parenthood by choice feel children are indispensable for following reasons:
Kids Bring Fortune:
According to Hinduism, having kids is possessing one of the 16 wealth. If you have kids, you have riches. It is kids’ spell-bound magic that works wonders in restoring the innocence that has faded away in their parent’s lives with age. While experiencing one with yourself would open you to the world of ecstasy and harmony, it has some side effects too.
(Pun intended) Today, thinking of having kids and raising them is an expensive affair, which brings damage to the pockets of the parents. Nonetheless, unlike other assets which depreciate with time, parents think their kids could be the great Returns on Investment (ROI) in future.
Kids Shape Future:
Weaving one in your womb has the ability to turn you into a better person even before it arrives. The amount of care that one needs since the time they are toddlers to teenagers is intimidating for immature couples but, sooner or later, it turns the couples into mature personalities.
(Pun intended) However, while we think kids can shape up our future with all the goodness, in terms of building good contacts and giving parents the opportunity to live their lives all over again, what in the future are we leaving for them to cherish for, is a thoughtful question that demands immediate attention.
On the other hand, couples who strongly feel kids are dispensable have their own following reasons:
Human Life Deterioration:
They say, ‘Are there not any better choices than having kids?’ Why we need more of them when there are already so many suffering?’ With what confidence the people are procreating when there is nothing good left in this world to bring a part of us here. For an example, hazardous air quality levels, insecure population; especially women, and many more issues that have no solution to look forward to.
School no more Havens:
Schools, which were once temples of learning, have turned into the most dangerous places. It is neither a good experience for teachers to teach nor for their students to learn. Recent cases in schools where kids lost their lives could merely be a coincidence or someone else’s negligence, but there is no way this loss can be filled in for the families.
While some parents are happy welcoming their parts of joys into the relapsing world, others, who are childless have also made their facts right. Such couples should not be looked down for their fertility reasons or for their economic status. Courage is also a choice chosen by childless couples. Following the untrodden paths and staying firm to not to give compromising future to their unbeknown kids is not easy and should be respected.