10 Tips On Dealing With Instant Anger In A Healthy Way
Anger is one of the most dangerous emotion that can cause physical as well emotional pain, if not dealt carefully. We often say and do things when we are angry, that we apologize for it later. So, just to help you save yourself from falling a victim to any unavoidable circumstances, below are some tips you should follow.
#1. Keep Calm And Don’t Speak Anything
We say the most regretful things when we are angry. Thus, no matter how mad you are about anything, no matter how hard you feel like punching the wall, or how badly you want to yell at people; you should always refrain from using words while you’re angry. Words kill deeper than the sword, and the wound or damage is beyond any medicine to repair. So keep calm and keep your anger in control, don’t let it make you do or speak anything that you’ll regret later.
#2. Take Time Out And Go For A Drive
Escape from reality to get rid of your emotions. We all have one way to escape from the toughest situation in life, you’ll have to find yours. A long drive in your car or on your motorbike, a workout session, and even sitting down quietly in a peaceful place works. Some people use writing, expressing their anger using words as an escape, while others use other forms of art like painting, dancing, even singing as an escape. See for yourself if one of these suggested methods work out for you. Anger is a result of sudden adrenaline rush in our body, the suggested activities are very good in balancing the increased adrenaline, helping you calm down.
#3. Identify The Core Emotion
Anger may or may not be the direct consequences of any other emotions that are acting as a catalyst. But if it is so, you need to find out what is making you angry. The core emotion as we call it hides underneath anger and causes the outburst of this emotion.
As fire needs a spark, anger needs a reason and there can be many of them. So, you have to find out the core emotion, or the event that is causing the anger, in a quest to control your it from spreading. Some common life situation like a breakup, failure, dissatisfaction, or even stress makes you feel sad, hurt, lonely, or even scared, which later converts into a rage.
Find out what is making you angry and try to deal with the situation in a better way, anger is not the only solution.
#4. Don’t Play The Blame Game
As we get angry we start digging our past and start blaming people. Beware! The blame game is even worse than your anger, so refrain from it. The only person you can blame for everything that is happening with you is you, but even that’s not the right way to deal with your problems.
Even if the person is actually the reason for your problems, you should help them realize it on their own. Don’t blame them directly, it might make the situation worse.
#5. Organize Your Thinking Abilities
Before saying something wrong especially in a relationship, take a deep breathe and organize yourself. Organize your thinking abilities and describe the problem clearly to your partner. Keep breathing and talk to your partner about their behavior that is causing the anger, and in the end, suggest a change in behavior that you expect. A complete change in behavior can be difficult for your partner, or anyone else; so try to discuss and come up with a good solution that works well with both parties.
Use more of “I” statements like “I feel disappointed, sad or upset” while discussing the problem. This will help your partner get less defensive and more motivated to solve the problem with you. In the end, everything will be fine. There’s nothing in this world that can be solved with a conversation.
#6. Be Patient
“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.”~Aristotle
Patience is the key to success no matter how severe the problem is. Thus, try to be patient while you’re angry. This might be a little difficult and you may feel like losing control every single minute, but keep thinking of all the good memories that you have collected till the time you’re cool and calm. The time is bad, hold on to yourself till the time moves on.
#7. Discuss The Matter And Forget
In case you’re pissed off with your partner, your friend, or any other family or workplace member- discuss the things and forget about it as soon as you’re done. Behave like nothing happened and ask your partner to do the same. Unless and until you forget and forgive, the problem will keep occurring and you’ll get pissed off very frequently. It is essential for you to convey your message tactfully and using a polished language rather than hurting manner. You might be hurt but you have to make sure you don’t hurt others.
#8. Move Out Of The Place And Find Solace
You shouldn’t run away from your feelings but you should definitely run away from the place which is making you angry before you do something negative. For instance, if you’re in your office or your home and you’re pissed off about something, the first thing you should be doing is getting out of the place. Secondly, find a peaceful place where you can get in sync with yourself and think of a good solution. The more you stay in your home or your office, the anger will keep blazing and will come out. We hope we don’t need to tell you what will happen after that.
#9. Use Your Anger For Something Constructive
Every emotion, be it anger, sadness, happiness, or even disgust; they can be used in a constructive manner. Just remember, there’s always a choice. You can either ruin everything that you love with your anger or protect them from your emotions by utilizing it elsewhere. A simple activity like jogging, work out, or even big tasks can leverage your anger.
#10. Take Care Of Yourself
Anger can destroy you if you can’t control it properly. We have popular examples of people who were on top of the world and their anger dragged them down to the bottom. It is not easy to be vulnerable and express the reasons behind your anger, especially when you suck at explaining. So, be a little gentle with yourself, it’s not your fault. Treat yourself with a healthy activity that can relax your mood, something that brings you pleasure in these tough situations.
In the end, I would like to say that excess of any emotion is bad, and you shouldn’t be holding them or else it will become a burden and ruin your health.