Breakups are normal, but people forget it often due to the emotional plethora that comes with this unfavorable event. Honestly, breaking up with someone is OKAY! It is not the end of life and it certainly doesn’t mean you don’t deserve love. In fact, break up is an opportunity to start your life from scratch and find someone who really deserves you. If you get that, below are a couple of things you must do to get over your breakup.
1. DON’T LOWER YOUR STANDARDS
Okay! You just had a breakup but that doesn’t mean you’ll date anyone and everyone you meet online. Control your emotions and don’t let the fear of ‘being alone’ conquer. Don’t let your fear make you settle for anything less than what you deserve. It is not just being alone that worries us, it’s feeling alone that worries us.
You just had a breakup, takie this is our opportunity to get to know yourselves. If you want someone to fall in love with you, you have to fall in love with yourselves first. The biggest mistake is, we don’t appreciate ourselves and expect others to do it for us. We try to get to know others interest before we know our own. We try to learn about everyone else favorite color, and movie etc. before we know about our own interest and hobbies. We learn what makes others happy before we learn what makes ourselves happy. As Aristotle said, “knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
2. DON’T CHASE ANYONE
Secondly, if you have ended up chasing someone after your breakup, it means they don’t want to be with you. Maya Angelou said, “when people show you who they are, believe them the first time” this is your time to chase personal growth, to chase your development, to chase your dreams, your passion, your potential, and your purpose; not chase another person.
3. START A HOBBY
Use this time to start new hobbies, new interest, or maybe even something you used to love doing. Maybe there was something in your childhood that you’ve left behind, this is your time to start with it again. Maybe there is something that you used to turn to, that you have forgotten about. Recreate that, relieve that, bring that back into your life with this extra time that you have now.
4. LEARN SOMETHING NEW
Our happiness is so closely linked to how much we are progressing, how much we are learning and how much you are achieving. Start listening to a new podcast, so maybe more TED talks, standup comedy videos, shortfilms – there’s a lot on the internet which can really make your day. You can also start with some new books, this might be your time to learn.
5. LIVE WITH INTENTION
Start crafting your life so that anyone you spend time with. Anything you spend time doing can be done with a deeper intention, understanding. Find out why you are doing it and what purpose it brings into your life.
6. TALK TO YOURSELF
Remember the most important meeting of the day is with yourself, the most important call is with yourself. When you are able to interact with yourself, understand your emotions and navigate your mind; you are starting to be comfortable alone.
There was a study where men and women were given the option to either spend time alone with their thoughts for 15 minutes or give themselves an electric shock. Roughly 30% of woman gave themselves an electric shock and around 60% of men chose the electric shock.
Instead of using an escape, instead of finding another person or thing to get attached to, learn to be comfortable and at peace with your own thoughts. Maybe it’s through mindfulness, maybe through meditation or maybe just journaling. If we never learn to be alone, we will always feel that we are lonely.
Bottom line: There’s someone made for everyone and thus, if you just had a break up it probably means the person you were with wasn’t the one. So, keep searching till you find the one who really deserves you.